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Okay, Okay so I may be a little sleep derpived so bare with me on this.

I made a decision that may affect my life in a good way. I have started doing a home learning course, a course entitled "Microsoft Certified Desktop Support Technician". This will be a good thing, It's learning a new skill and it's going to be something to keep my rather distorted mind busy instead of thinking of some random ways to convince me that I am a fucktard.

I was never good at studying at school, so it's an obvious worry that I am going tosuck at doing this. But, School was something I was forced into doing, this is something that I am paying for and it's something I want to do. I really do think this is the first step on the road of changing my life and finally being happy with myself.

As the opening sentance states, I am a tad sleep deprived. I can't explain it because I don't fully understand why I am. for the first time in years I have been content with things. I am fully over what has gone down over the past year and a half, and am fully ready to move on with my life. Maybe it's just the thought that I can actually be happy that my brain just cannot process and it is working in over drive to figure out what the fuck is going on. Maybe it's the amount of sugar I shovel into my ever growing mouth/stomach.

Anyway, I'm going to go and read.

Thank you to those who care, and a big "fuck you" to those who don't

Love 'n' Stuff

Ash